2012->2013

2012 is going to end. another starting begins.
and the new generation has been coming.
bringing hope and eternal peace,  i will leave 2012 without any fascination and step on to the land of 2013.
many people suppose 1221 is nothing since nothing happens at all.
in fact, it is a change between 2012 and 2013.
this change cannot be seen with your naked eyes.
though u believe it or not, it is truly happening.

i am pleasant that i have been saved and brought to this new generation.
life of human is all according to the principle of Him.
u don't believe? no worry, if u have the sincere heart to discover it ,with time u will found that it is how true and real more than your 'empty' life in this beautiful earth.
He loves everyone of us very much but nobody could see Him with naked eyes,so people used to not believe Him. how sorrow his feeling is but he would not give up from alpha to omega ,just because He loves us.

2012.12.21 is what his love pouring to the Earth but only those believe in Him will know what is actually happening. However the foolish humans use their own viewpoint to define the day as doomsday, how ridiculous they are.

all of us desire to seeking love, just because He has created this instinct in everyone of us. so when we meet a person during adolescence /adulthood, we suppose the one is our so-called lover.
in fact, the purpose of the love feeling created in us is demanding our soul to give to Him.
but childish people even don't know how to love others, thus there are many disputes and troubles about love among people and couples.
we shall learn to love with Him in advance, only He knows us and gives everyone of us true love which is peaceful and without envy.

hence,please wake up! u are not only a body living on the Earth through born,grow-die process. 
your soul is waiting you to find him/ her out ,but you just don't know. 
without soul, how could u feel, cry, laugh?
without soul, your body is only a husk.
please,live for your soul !

your life of body on this earth is around 80 years only.

i found out the real answer and have felt so real and satisfied,so here i am to sharing with you.
i hope u finally have realised this fact a day.

any doubt /question ,u are welcome to ask and we may can discuss about that.
all of His guidances and enlightenment, we ought to learn far more forever.





畅游的鱼


当秋天的落叶慢慢堆积在地上,渐渐被雪取代的时候,
你告诉我在那狭窄的圆框里,属于你的时间从来没停过。
风依旧吹,时代依旧过。
你心爱的曾让你伤心流泪,你面对那被邪恶时代渲染的,你依旧没放弃过。
原来,从我们呱呱坠地的那一刻到现在呼吸的这一刻,
你是在我们身边生活着。
那种默默的爱,被世俗渐渐蒙蔽我们双眼,看不见。
原来,曾经因为天生问题而不能碰水,在三四岁那年只能坐在救生圈上望梅止渴的我,会有那么一天像鱼一般在水里悠游。
我深信,在那我怕水,一直说“我不能”的当下,你莞尔一笑了。
时间重叠,你了解,你教导我。
当下领悟,你在我生命中如此靠近,与我一起呼吸成长。
从看不见你的爱,到如今沉浸在你的爱。
从前我爱游泳,现在更爱游泳了。
我只想成为鱼,在你怀抱中畅游。
你说:如同治理水,我们不要溺死在世上考验的水中。
你教我的,早就超出一切之上了。



宿命


我曾有的罗马、希腊、法国、意大利、东京之梦,
如今依然是。
充满艺术香气的彩色小世界,在那里默默坐着,
任由时光酝酿得香浓,
等候那天生爱着你味道的我。
那适合我的气息,越来越香醇,停留在我的空气里。
那诗情画意的潘朵拉盒被我掀开,
在时光隧道游走,与那复古交融,与那神秘交心。
啊,我知道。
在还未与你邂逅,
我就已知道。

对的人

我真没想到,
我会在生命中遇到这个人,不凡的人。
从此人生改变了。
我是真正的生活了。以前还没遇见你,是幸福的,因为你在过程中已陪伴着我了,只是当时我是瞎子。
感谢你。
我多么,想为你做些什么。
你就像两千年的他,在荒唐无知的人中用爱牺牲自己,那些瞎眼的人如今还在沉睡着。
我多么想为你擦泪啊~即使我不完全体会到你的心情。
我很多不足,
但充满感激。
别人不会知道,真的不会明白,
我们唱着“我很幸福”的那份无限幸福的感受。
尤其是你啊!你是最幸福的!

今年剩下六十天。
好快!
紧紧抓住了!
而你即将能大大地站立。
我、我们必站在你身旁!
你真的是最幸福的人!
我们爱你!

真的很幸福,能遇见你!
你是我学习一辈子的对象~
:)

childish me

http://www.morninglight.cc/column_info.php?id=NWS4db01b4e1e8b4

G, how come i don't understand you? sorry. i feel regret.
i won't give up to be close with you.
in this world, many people don't know you,many people don't believe you.
but u still love everyone of us.

indeed,dear G, i want to thank You guiding me into Providence.i feel cheerful to encounter you in my age of 19 finally.actually i know u are with me since my birthday and have been planning the way.

many times, i don't feel you but i have been trying to find you. i won't give up.
sometimes, i pray in front of you with fire of my soul.
but a few times, the fire in my mind is gone and i am dozing off in the pre-dawn prayer.
how could i do such action to make you sorrow?

most of us sure are always doubt of whether you will hear us or not.
u will, u always, your love is eternal.
recently, u just had achieved one of my little wish.actually not only that.
that is a good beginning for my sister.
thank you so much,
even 'thank you' cannot describe my appreciation on you too.

i wont give up.
now, thanks for giving me chance to seeing this article,giving me energy and making my tears almost out ,but i am in crowded computer centre.so i endure .
now, i know the principle of praying, that is also the principle of life.
thus, i won't give up.
i shall correct my bad habit that is impatience.
i ought to be faith and be confident beside you.
i would keep going on towards you.
i want to praise you with my soul.

dear fellows, i'd like to share this to u.
please read it to the end with heart.

nerver-fade dreams

my sister's post on facebook reminded one of my dream.
a few days ago, i just imagine the dream being achieving 'in the present'.
it is fabulous .it is pleasant in the air around us.
the dream will not be just a dream, i deeply believe.

one day, we 6 persons will travel oversea.
i would try my best to afford the cost.
no longer time,i would start the plan.
though i want to pursue degree, but such case would never spoil my this dream, never ever.
i know,and we know, that is our dream for many years.

not to be jealous of others,because i know,once we achieve this dream a day,
the significance,accomplishment and satisfaction would be last forever and even be higher than those we had been jealous.

for them, this is not a problem and they almost can done it every year.
but for us, even once time,we will appreciate forever.
i know,so i would fight.

G, i really do feel u love me and us very much!

Recharge in minutes

yesterday, i have borrowed 2 books from library.
one is  'recharge in minutes' by suzanne zoglio Ph.D.
another one is a novel 'strange boy'.

in the previous book which i have been reading, the author mentions that there is no such thing as the status quo or staying at same level.
you develop a muscle, it grows stronger.
if you use your brain for new experiences, you will grow new pathways called dendrites.
if you don't, your brainpower doesnt stay the same but will diminish.
perhaps you have had a friendship that was once but now is gone, it is just a bad case of status quo.

i bet most of the time we are in the whirlpool of decision.
worrying about the consequences of the decision.
about my future or another stage of life, i am in this situation too.
either stay in comfort zone & let life pass you by, or choose the second road that is unfamiliar and may has too much stressful change.
the road to the first path leads to contraction and the latter leads to expansion.
i agree with the statement " too little change will literally bore you to death! " don't you?
until this, i hesitated and once again, take my thinking cap about the path.
but obviously, i prefer the second path.
dear G, please help me to get rid of the ghosts in my mind.
whichever path i will be facing, i will gratefully accept .
i want to be stronger and alive ,with You.

poem for You

haha!
Yesterday early in the morning, after waking up from bed, i have some ideas to do poem.
so quickly,some beautiful seaside scene had turned out in my mind.
so gladful that i have made the first poem including Him.
i use metaphor which He is the wind in my poem.

actually, i want to share it in my blog house . or perhaps, contributing to competition of Sin Chew Daily.i don't mean to win but i 'd like to share.
but finally, i have decided i will not post it out currently.

all i want to say is,
although the poem is simple.
but i like it so much.
how i hope He will see it.
yes, He shall see it beside me.

thanks for accompanying me from birth until now on.
you have teached me a lot.
the poem includes three main feelings and lessons of my recent life.
i know you are smiling.
i hope i could learn more from You,
as i will be always learning .

love.
with peace.

sweat out !

that is so long i have not gone to gym room.
and today i did it. 6.6km non-stop within 20minutes.
before this, i didnt manage to set the record, so i guess the total distance i ran in the gym room today is almost 10km+.
good job!
quantity is not the point but the quality. i believe that 'small amounts in separate day sum up will give much better effect on health in the long run.

thanks G, i did it with you :)
you know during the 20 minutes, i had closed my eyes, feel my breath,my moving limb,my brain was all with beautiful nature and also songsengnim running with me.
and the slogan of Xueji " nothing to die".
open my eyes, i see the mirror in front of me, my face with healthy blush.
oh i like it.
i like sweat out.
i have realized my stamina is not so good , perhaps because of weak lungs.
anyway, i like to sweat out.

so guys and girls, keep away from chair,let's sweat out !

Another coming stage

Time flies and my A level is going to end on this nov. Another planning is going to be made for the next stage of my life. I just read newspaper and saw an article about a singer sharing her own life principles. Indeed, like what her saying, no regret on either way u have chosen because every way gives u different experience and learning from those. That's why I like to read newspaper or articles due to those are sometimes vital reminders for me. In fact, sometimes i have such bad thought.so i should realise this philosophy of life. I should appreciate the way God has been guiding me always. Every path has its own scenes ,so does A level. Sometimes I hesitate my potentials on subjects, but I believe God wants to tell me ,failure is just a part of life,accept with ur heart and keep the persistance spirit with jesus.failure is something to tell that u need to change to a better method,this good reminder is from a book called NLP which I read second time yesterday. Yes,the consequence of matter does not versus the reality. About next stage of life, I have been considering taking IELTS or MUET.planning to do part time work for several months, and participate article competition of sinchew daily and so on while waiting for the result release next year. Definitely hope to study psychology overseas. Apart from praying with god, I will work hard to achieve it. That must be a good way God will be arranging to me. Thanks that all I have ,with love.

19 big day

0610
what a peace ,special and fantastic 19 birthday i have had indeed.
this time,my precious gifts are not in the form of materials like past birthdays.
i feel the warm and appreciated.

well, this is my last age starting with number 1.. in other words, after this year,i am excluded from being teenagers.ouch. it's fine, accept anything and learn.

there are many 'first times' happened on my day.

went to pavilion with Skylar.
visited OdeToArt gallery finally.
visited art market.
drank Ochado finally.
ate Kimchi fried rice.tried something i seldom have.

In the evening,
attended second lessons in Bethel Church.
before that, enjoyed singing songs to salute God.
this is the first time that i go to church on my day, and celebrate with a few Christian new friends.
Like what they said, God has been giving me His love from now on.
thanks for giving me an unforgetful birthday, yeeleng,aijing,jess,jinxin,yitong,huiqi....and so on.
thanks for introducing me to the Sentul famous liuxiang seafood restoran to have many damn delicious food. it is always fulled and has to wait for empty table. even black and western customers there.
so funny when i told aijing: thanks for bringing me to this 'international' restoran. meanwhile, all laughed out loud. that night, our table is fulled of laughters.
and,there are so many new names that i need to remember in one day.haha.

Another first time, i finally ate marcaloon.it is really sweet.
and that is the most meaningful cake i  have ever had.
Jess said, the 3 marcaloons represents soul,God and Jesus respectively, and the chocolate ball represents me.
all seem are fate and love from God.
and the first time ,one of my wishes is 'i hope i can feel God much more start from now.' i will start to pray and talk with God and make it a habit.

*hope my 4 wishes will be achieved.

In this last year with age starting with number 1 and labelled as teenager,i'd like to make a summary for past birthdays from child age till teen age. haha!

Impressive birthdays review
The most surprised 6-year-old : during listening to teaching in kindergarten, my mum brought me birthday cake silently. actually the two teachers who like me had cooperated with mum already . Then once i saw my mum's familiar beautiful face through the window, teachers asked classmates to celebrate with me.
so funny that on that time, i was like a wood ,had not known what had happened initially.

The SnowWhite in 10-year-old : what i called 'snowwhite' not because i obsess with the story of snow white but family got me a pure white frock and my favourite fruit cake.in the photo i had smiled very happily.

The most warm 13-year-old : first time, a friend ,Sufi made chocolate cake and made the words on the cake "happy 13 birthday......."though it is not the standard like bakery shops', but it is fulled with sincerity. this is the first cake from a friend hand-made i have ever had.

The 15-year-old which is fullled with monokuro boo : Mervin sent me a very big frame .he had pieced the Monokuroo boo puzzle for a few days by own. another meaningful gift with sincere heart.

simple 16-year-old fulled with music : in Karaoke Box with a few good friends, Sim,Mwen,Aaron Jun...

'unlucky' 17-year-old : this is the first time i am fooled on my day in KFC. two 'bad' friends pushed my face towards the cake when i was wishing!! anyway,i still enjoyed in the first time. haha~ and this is the last birthday in secondary school life. in addition, the only 17 with 3 bears and dolls from randy,mwen and weiquan.though they don't know i dislike  these unpragmatic gift,but i still appreciated them since the 3 bears are a part of sincerity of them.

18-year-old with dear 23th xueji fellows : finally, i could gather with xueji buddies on my day. so appreciated those celebrated with me .u all always the sweet and bring me smiles. and in the evening, some old friends celebrated with me in the basketball court. this year is the year with 3 cakes. ouch!><  haha.

and 19 this year, as i have been growing up, i have not cared of  how many gifts (i mean those in things form) i have gradually but have felt the sincerity and love from people around me. i have realised i have owned a lot .thanks for the lomo camera from my 9 old good fellows and this is the only gift in material form.
i label this the most meaningful and peaceful 19 with Jesus.

my tomorrow

i believe my tomorrow would be a peace, smooth, not too full as past birthdays but contented .
thanks for everthing, every person around me.
i am going to welcome my last teen-age -the last age which start as number 1.

p/s  i have been so pleasant about yesterday one-day job . i was satisfied with my sales. next time shall be better and better.
i have met three new friends- Carmen Yap,  Yanny Lau,and Stephanie.
thanks God for giving me such experience.
my lessons: improve communicating skill towards customers , not blunt-minded and art of talking.

Carnegie's messages to me

Recent book i have been reading is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Those who are my chums, intimates, or frequent followers,shall know i like such genre of books which relate to my favourite aspect.
well,i am quite astonished that there is just a little people who know this past great author.
actually this book was bought a few years ago.
so funny that i have been just starting it recently.

while reading it, i think of the people who criticise or have wrong viewpoints on psychology.
last week, one of my lecturer seemed denouncing those who are going into this area.
on that time, i am furious, how i wish i can stop his sarcastic mouth.
but that is no point that i do that. since he often has his own sarcastic character as we all his students have known. he has to be respected, and especially, i do not need to be mad with such people who do not even know the great importance of psychology.
every careers has its greatness. so sad that there is a natural phenomenon of most people admire doctors,lawyers and professionals. how about others?if all people in the world are doctors and professionals, u can imagine what a world is. thus, it is ridiculous that we all only admire doctors,pharmacists and else so-called prominent careers.

you ought to know, everything starts from your thoughts.
Dale Carnegie once said,' one secret of success is it lies in the ability to get the other person's viewpoint and see things from that person's angle as well as your own.'
i consent to him deeply.
i always realise the importance of psychology that gives me and i am certain it is extremely useful in my future no matter on work or in daily life as long as interacting with people around.
In addition, psychologists are not people always use a weird eyes to look at you like scrutinising you.
psychologists are someone who would like to understand people and to help people.
at least, it is always my belief.

anyway, for those who do not understand something they always do not understand and oppose or resent,
give you own a chance to understand those matters you dislike .
as if you would know what a big difference is.
it is because thoughts constrict you from that previously.
 Do not control by thoughts, but shall have subconscious with you usually.

p/s . countdown .... 5 days to go.

recommend this,again!

today once again,i read about this movie on the sinchew daily.
this movie was watched by me last week.
and it seems not so famous in the country. 
well, in fact, this movie grabbed many awards which are supposed to honour for Harry Potter.
on the other hand, Georges Melies in the movie.this man existed indeed. He was France Illusionist.
His 'A Trip to the Moon' has impressed me deeply.
the youngster are suggested highly to watch this.
remember, without dream and such lame simple 'movie' in the past, there is without 3D/ 4D high tech movie nowadays.

Juneday

June is around .
yeah,my Juneday.
8 days to go...

finally on the last day of May,
i cut my long crowning glory.
at least,since past 5 years, i have never had such short length of hair.
it is about shoulder.
this is the side view. look like another kind of me.XP
feel like burdenless and of course,not so hot like previous long hair.

i like June.

Hugo's Quotes

'Hugo Cabret' is a great movie about movie by Asa Butterfield,Chloe Meretz, Jude Low, Christopher Lee and so on.


The followings are my favourite quotes in this meaningful movie~


Hugo Cabret: Everything has a purpose, clocks tell you the time, trains takes you to places.
Isabelle: We can get into a trouble.
  1. Hugo Cabret: That's how you know it's an adventure.

Hugo Cabret: So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason..

Georges Méliès: Happy endings only happen in the movies.
Hugo Cabret: The story's not over yet.


it seems like tracing back to the origin of movie and what movie is.
Those who are movie lovers shall watch this.

漂流记


别问我何时才醒来。
我只想平静地浮在水面上,
听着水的流动声在我耳间萦绕。
偶尔微微地睁开眼睛,
看到的是一片天蓝。
手里拿着一片干了发黄的叶。
放开,让它和我一样浮在水面上,
漂去一个未知的地方。
一直飘着,飘着。
就连秒针也停留了好几万次脚步。
~难得的悠闲。

思绪陪着我,漂流旅行。
它是自在的。
自在带领着我,在我的漂流记里。

好像过了几个世纪,
微紫色的天空揉开了我的双眸。
棉花后有一些微弱的星星之火,
照亮了我的目的地。
叫未知的地方。

醒来了。
沉淀后,一切都醒来了。
你可曾知道,
再一次醒来,
看来拥有的不多,
其实拥有了一切。

p/s
好久好久没写诗,所以随意写了一首‘烂’诗。可是她拥有着一些我要表达的东西。
也好久没画画了,所谓的画画是那种用心思和情绪表达,几个小时完成的作画,不是随意那一张纸画几个卡通的涂鸦。每次看到报纸杂志上的艺术照片,就会有画画的念头,可是都不是正当的时机。
我很肯定,我是右脑占优势的感性类型,这些喜好是本尊的其中抒发方式。你呢?

真正长大

很多人说外国的月亮比较圆,也有很多人不赞同这一点。
但我一直想去外国读书或工作,不是因为鄙视祖国的不好还是崇拜外国的好,而是想真正的长大。
我相信,我出去了以后,视野一定广了,看每件事的方式也会改进和坦然,也不会那么执著在小事或失败。
我讨厌那种很自责、过意不去的感觉。
就像我这五月的大考,简单的不应该错的却……。

我知道,我不需为这些事花这么多精力,但我就是过意不去。
我知道我不应该去羡慕那些天才还是聪明的人,但我就是不够精明。

我知道,我不会放弃,我会一直前进,尽管前方的路还有失望和失败。
我希望我不再那么执著,尽力减少那些令我失落的失败。

平常心。坦然。我一直告诉自己的。

30天生日倒数。
以上是我的两个愿望。

Movies recommendation

fellows and followers,
i would like to recommend you two awesome movies.
The Sixth Sense
Artificial Intellgence

Coincidently, Haley Joel Osment got involved in both movies which i recently had watched.
he is such a talented young actor.
even though he was just 13 years old, in The Sixth Sense,all his expressions are tangible and apt.

thumb up! u gotta watch both!

and currently, i want to watch 'We Not Naughty' which is the newest Singapore movie by Jack Neo.
waiting.

nothing at all

don't think of the person anymore!
stop it! stop!
i know sometimes u can't control.
but in your innermost heart,
u know u have to.
the person is nothing and not worth for u.
u don't understand the person as well too.
the person is nothing and maybe just can said as one of your friend.
time will carry it.
u can!
u can stop from doing such addicted deeds.
let it lapsed by time.
nothing!
friend

遗书

最近,考试给我一定的压力。 我最讨厌那种行尸走肉的感觉。

人生只有一次,为何要选择这样过?我一直很羡慕那些所谓的天才,他们看来一直保持无压力状态,享受每一刻,还得到好的结果。或许,是我看到的表面吧!但我就是认为他们是我想象中的那样。

上个月,好不容易终于鼓起勇气和朋友去捐血,哪知因为个人问题,令我失望了两次。啊~那种不能完成一件有意义的事的感觉真的很沮丧很失望。我希望下一次可以用我一小包的血帮助其他人。

昨天,看到一个敬佩的学姐最新的博文,题目是《遗书》。其实,我想写的念头已经很久了,只是还没有一个明确的概念和懒惰着笔。哈哈!放心,我没有自我了断的倾向,甚至瞧不起那些随便结束自己生命的蠢蛋(比笨蛋都不如)。即使有时压力到极限会想到要逃避,但决不会用这最蠢的烂方法。

另外,前几天,妈咪打来跟我说家乡一名小我一岁的女孩在柔佛海边溺毙的新闻,然后一直叮嘱我没事的话就不要到处走。我知道她看多新闻了心里难免担心。我会照顾好自己,还有尽力改掉“大头虾”的坏习惯,出门保持谨慎。突然想起一件事,昨晚一人看《缺宅男女》看到流泪。就是那一幕,关于嘉乐被认为是老板的情妇而被老板的老婆攉一巴掌,只好辞职回家。她妈妈一眼就知道她有事,说“如果在外面撑不了就别死撑。”看到妈妈,嘉乐的眼泪直接夺眶而出。这都是天性啊!

因此,种种近来的事情促使我写。终于,我的遗书如下:

-把我还能用的内脏、头发、眼角膜、血液等捐给需要的人。

-把我火葬,但传统的家人,坚持土葬的话就用最简单的棺材就好,葬礼不要苍白而是薰衣草的紫色。

(其实我有跟妈咪略提过以上两件事,但你也知道,华人就是很避忌提这些)

-把我一路来的照片点滴收藏好,不介意呈现于葬礼,让大家看到我灿烂的笑容,同样地,要快乐地笑着。

-把我拥有的书给表弟妹,taylor,Joshua,Isabel,mia.和捐给图书馆。把我的衣服给表妹们,也把适合的捐给孤儿院。

-把我小时候收藏的东西如书签、贴纸、报纸、歌簿等给要的朋友或拿去卖了。朋友们送的礼物如杯子、公仔、拼图画等可以的话让他们领回去,永远记得我一直与他们同在,记得一起快乐的相处时光。若不能,就拿来用吧!学记报导活动的一切、小学的投稿文章、画纸、和文凭收好。

想对身边人说的话:

-最舍不得的爸妈,谢谢你们带大我、疼我,(啊~怎么又在哽咽了?)有时我会想象我心目中的爸妈,但我一直知道你们永远是无可取代的,你们才是我最棒的爸妈。不要再为我用泪洗脸。就像我说的,“你们两个每次皱眉头,要保持笑容!”我爱你们,这句话不用说也互相感受得到的。

还有,我敬爱的婆婆。你看开的精神我一直铭记在心,你是默默为这家付出的女人之一,不埋怨,不开心也选择自己默默度过。看来我也是遗传到你了。你常说“爱情是盲目的。人要看开。”我最喜欢听你吹口笛和笑声。你很受朋友的欢迎。还记得以前晚上,我们会一起谈天然后睡着。我也好久没为你拔白头发和涂你喜欢的红色指甲油了。我知道你是我身边人里最豁达的人了,毕竟你走过了几年代。我的离开,你还是要开心地笑着,说不要在意他是不可能的,所以尽量转移注意力吧!

-姐姐们,谢谢你们成为我的姐姐。纵使过去有些难题和不快乐的事情,那都过去了。我一直知道我们是惺惺相惜的。

家人们,原谅我的叛逆和固执。

-好朋友们、老朋友们、学院朋友、学记们等,不管和你是熟悉,要好的还是泛泛之交,我都由衷地感谢你们的陪伴。那些不再交谈的过去式朋友,谢谢你们在我某生命的阶段陪我走过。喜欢我的人,谢谢你们,你们增加了我的一些信心。讨厌我或伤害过我的人,谢谢你们,让我知道我的缺点和不好的一面。被我直接的性格中伤过的朋友,很抱歉,我是无恶意的,有时甚至是“口是心非”的。

-亲戚们、表姐妹、奶妈,谢谢你们。纵使有些是反感的或不熟的,都谢谢你们。

啊~最激动的一篇文章。所幸到最后,眼泪的澎湃已停息。

Trouble

Such stress is flooding me again.
i don't want to hear again!!
all because of you, i seem like a selfish people or a person who is over-frugal.essentially i don't like to be that.it is annoying.
i have a great impulse to be like guojngming,the young author millionaire of china.
i always have a dream in my heart.i want to earn much money once a day~
essentially,i think that money is sufficient to use,that is enough.
however, family problem has made me stress about it and has lead me to be more realistic,perhaps.
once i have own capacity,not to be denied ,next year i shall go for work half year nearly.
i don't mean to rely on parents currently,really,i don't mean that i want to oppose you to buy what u like to own .
i am cheerful but still be jealous of close friends who have no such trouble because their parents plan well on money.
since such stress often distract me from focusing on stuff and study.
i hate it~
ahhh,why do i have such viewpoint.

Jesus Christ, i wish deeply, you can always guide me and inspire me by shifting my negative thinking to positive one.
i often lack of confidence.

i shall make this trouble becomes not a big trouble in my life soon!

malaysian education system

i dislike or even hate malaysian education system.
indeed, i know you are,too.
today,
i just read an article from NST about a viewpoint of an educator on the mentioned case today.
He claims that it is sad to witness detriment of students' thinking and solving problems.
yet substantially, most of malaysian education system focuses and emphasizes are exams and academic results.
i probably believe that the exam-oriented system is diminishing some students' confidence,potential and creativity.
It is because there is not everyone is suitable to such education system.
As such education keeps carrying on in the future, Malaysia may not improves to become one of the economic powers.
i deeply hope the system can be ameliorated as soon as possible.
For example,many aspects are concerned besides academic result. In addition, Critical thinking skill and applying knowledge in real life are urged.
Obviously, Malaysian education system has developed a rote culture due to too emphasis on academic results, perhaps for most of the students.

this is my first time to post about something related sensitive issue maybe.
However, those are my real aspirations since last time.
i know, not only myself, others also may consent to me.
Admittedly,we all wish for a better and effective education system which emphasizes personality building and moulds all-the-aspect healthy individuals.

planning

First of all, sorry for neglecting you for a long time , my sweetie bloggy.

Since CNY ,until now at least 1 month ago, i have not back to my hometown ,but tomorrow.
it is the first time since last time i would back twice each month at least.

it is ok then.
going to think and plan my next 2013 first 6 months.
you shall laugh at me because 2012 is not going to end yet but i have been planning for next year.
i have been worrying about taking IELTS / MUET next year.
i also havn't fix where to pursue degree.
actually in my bottom of heart, i hope to study overseas in australia/england.
however,it seem like a impossible dream due to some problems.
i have been hesitated around.

s'pore,for my favorite course,HELP UC is more suitable and much better.
Singapore may is a great place but i want a psychology-professional school.
but i shall grasp the chance to study abroad because that is my dream too.

ahhh.money problem~i am not enough intelligent ><
i plan to work part time next year for several months.
i am cheerful, but not like some, they don't have such trouble.
anyway, there must be a pathway to take.
searching, planning, observing.

If i were a boy

i will be a outgoing guy.
beg-packing travel in countries like Greece, Roman, New Zealand, Germany, and so on,
conquer all the mountains in the world as i could,
love a girl with all my heart and learn together from many aspects to enjoy life,
be smart in sports expecially basketball,
stay up usually and wake up early,
knowing to play piano ,guitar and drum,
be tall above 175cm,
having a nice car,
doing gym to maintain tough body,
having a mature and wise mind,
having a damn nice and suitable hair style,
have a lot of fellows regardless frontiers,
try all the wines and beers but not overdrunk,
be good in computer,
be a reputed and successful engineer..........

haha~
if i were a boy.

unforgetable nightmare

First time,
this is the first time,since i was born,
i cried out from the terrible nightmare,
on 8 feb, 5.30am.
after waking up, i don't dare to continue sleeping anymore.
i wouldn't forget it perpetually.

On the moment, all i think about is calling back home.
but that was a too early morning, i thought i should not wake them up.
i had the intense feeling in the nightmare, especially depression.
i remember i had got shocked and felt deeply upset and sorrowful.
it was a weird dream.
i received a news about someone got involved in accident. the posted photo has 4 peoples, one is my dearest person.
in the dream, i even couldn't believed and confessed it.
it was too sudden.
later,i sobbed soundly.
thus, i opened my eyes gradually.
Luckily, lucky that that was just a nightmare!
but since it, i have had some shadow in my inner mind.
of course, i don't dare to tell this to the person who is in my nightmare.

finally, i really realized how the feeling of the families who lost their family member so suddenly like we always see from the newspapers.

i wouldn't know why did i dream such nightmare.
but thanks for it.
i really apprehend what the feeling is.

treasure and cherish your surrounding people.please.
though this is always a stereotyped clause.

CNY

last saturday i just went to a lake park in Kepong. I quite like the sceneries there and took many beautiful photos. just chose one of them to share with you here.
hehe~

Dragon Chinese New Year is around the corner.
teehee~
although tests are waiting me next week of CNY, i have tried to balance myself, not to make it stress out me and affect me.
but pressure is still in me yet. i face it. i will remember the last year lessons.
i manage to enjoy CNY to the max and gather with family and old friends.
After that, adjust my feeling when it is going to end.
i do my best to enjoy hols and study!
this time!
yo!
i sure can!
i won't be afraid of failure .
just like the lyrics of 'The Climb" , 'just keep pushing on!
well,Have a fantastic chinese new year to all my surroundings people .stay healthy and pleasant. ^^

Travel Diary

This is the first travel book i have been reading.
The backpacking journey of the two authors.
it is borrowed from the library.
Since yesterday, i had started.
The first station is Laos,
and today, i just 'flied' from Laos to Vietnam.haha.
when reading this book,i feel like i am travelling with the writers.
wow.it's a sheer worth to read such genre of book.
u won't regret to read such book!
and one of the points which amazes me is the great writing style of the author.
the words unleash their soul under the author's hand.
Her name is linyue who is the veteran reporter of sinchew daily. how come i don't know this name though i often read it when at home?
stay tuned.
next station, tomorrow is China.
haha~

2012

until the end of the 2011,
i had not any ideas and excited mood.
on 31 dec 2011,11.59pm ,i was drinking milky chocolate in wong kok restaurant ,old klang.
5 4 3 2 1 ..the fireworks released outside.
just finished my drink and walked out. there was 2 fireworks,one is in front of me which was released by unknown and another more beautiful but more far is released from Mid Valley.

i finally was going to meet 'zhougong' on 2am.
Have a wonderful, healthy,peace new year to my dear everyone and myself.
Though 2011 is not the most fun and wonderful year for me ,but there are also many 'first time' in this year. i appreciate the past.
i try my best to not be in negative mood most of the time since those will be histories and waste of my life.
Besides,i have realized many of my bad manners from people surrounding me. thank u so much. i treasure and will correct gradually.
about the dreams i have ever had,i won't mention them again.keep in my heart and achieve.
__________________________________________________
Improvement of myself in 2012

* ameliorate own EQ index. (correct the impetuous temper,not to be affected by trivials)
* plan and use the most suitable own study way
* improve my bad personalities (before saying,listen... and so on will be listed down in my own dairy to remind myself)
* keep improving English
* accompany & talk more with family

- read at least 5 books in a year (contents: international news,travel,pschology)
-be volunteer in charity work
-try my best to sleep within 8 hours daily.not over not less.
-healthy diet & allocate into portions if conditions allow
-exercise (swimming,jogging,playing badminton) i miss cycling a lot for so long! but i have no bicycle.lol.
-self-maintenance (ameliorate dark eyes circles and complexion)
-keep fit ( sit-up 3 days a week ,always sit and stand correctly , always avoid hunchback, drink much water by increasing the frequency in every low consumption)


"Never let the things you want make you forget the things you have"
no grumble what u dont have but be grateful all you have!